As I get older I find myself reflecting more and more...thinking about my daily interactions with the people around me and in my life. One thing that I reflect on the most would have to be my relationships with others and the friendships i've been able to cultivate so far. I reflect often on the role i've either played in the end of some or the longevity of others. It's interesting how we view some friendships and/or relationships...for the most part being hopeful and thinking that they will last forever. I remember senior year in high school and all the people I had sign my yearbook...from time to time I go back and read some of the entries and think back to how at that time we thought we would always be close friends sharing life's journey together. Only to realize how far from the truth we were in thinking this and how i've outgrown many of the friends i've had over the years. How many of us have lacked the effort needed to sustain the friendships that were worth holding onto? How many of us hold onto friendships past their intended seasons?
I often wonder about the friendships that i've allowed to wane and dissipate. I reflect and wonder if did my part in trying to sustain it or did I let some of them go prematurely not seeing my own lack of effort. Something I say all the time is that everything in this life takes work...at least anything that is worth keeping. A long lasting and healthy friendship takes WORK and in most cases will take more work on your end at different points. It takes being consistent and showing the other person that which you want from them. Something that many of us fail to realize is that most people can only give to you what they have been taught to give when it comes to friendships. One thing that i've learned from the success I have in my close friendships/relationships is that it's up to us to be that which we want out of a particular friendship. So if you want a friend or a person in your life that you can depend on...you have to be dependable yourself. If you want someone that you can trust, then you have to be trustworthy yourself. If you want someone who you can lean on when things get hard, then you have to be just that in the times that you may not want to or need to lean on them yourself. If you want someone in your life that will always be honest with you, then you have to be honest with them (even when it seems difficult to do so). Truly, the best friends you will have are those who will tell you the truth no matter what. Furthermore, It's about being consistent...even in the times you don't feel like it. It's about being selfless in the times that you want to be selfish and think of your own needs. I constantly work to be the friend that I want from others in my life and I have seen the fruit from it. But, what about the ones we've given our all too and they still come to an end or don't work out? What are you left to do and think then? We take the lessons from those friendships that have ended and use what we've learned to be better in the ones that we find to be successful. We take those ended friendships for what they brought us in that period of our life and move forward. Too many times we hold onto friendships/people that have run their course...the ones that served their purpose in our lives for where we were mentally and emotionally at that time. Some friends and/or people we truly outgrow and there is nothing wrong with that....it's a part of life. We just need to examine and know when to let certain friends go. It does not mean we don't care about them and want to see them do well; it just means that our seasons have changed. We have to realize that in holding onto these friendships past their intended time only stunts growth for both parties. And, if you truly care about their well being you wouldn't want that for them.
I know that I mainly discussed friendships in today's post, yet it is my hope that this helps everyone to reflect on their relationships as well. Are you providing to your friendships/relationships what you want to see from those individuals? Have you shown them what you expect in a friend through your actions and not just your words? In our effort to be better people and friends we must be in a constant place of reflecting and striving to do that which we say we want from others. As I end my post for today i'll leave you with this quote: "As you grow, the number of friends doesn't matter. What matters is the number of TRUE friends you have." - Unknown
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