Get Your Own Life First then SHARE it!

This topic is something that I've had countless conversations about and have found that a lot of people have an issue with getting to know oneself and being "alone." For most people the idea of being single comes with a negative stigma or connotation. More often than not, people feel that they HAVE to be in a relationship with someone and feel "depressed" when this is not the case. This way of thinking is dangerous and usually poses to be un-fulfilling either way because the individual has not gotten to the root of why they feel this way and usually feels unfulfilled in either situation. Individuals who feel that their life is "better" when they are with someone usually end up losing themselves in their relationship and lack a sense of identity. Now, I'm not saying that it's wrong to desire to be in a relationship because as humans it's in our nature to want to be around others and share life experiences with them. Yet, if your whole world revolves around being with another person or this "need" to have someone and even at the sake of your own identity, then what you're seeking will NEVER be fulfilled.

The real root of why an individual would feel this way is never addressed when they go from relationship to relationship. It's as if they go from one relationship to the other seeking fulfillment from someone who cannot give that them that and this is one of the biggest misconceptions when it comes to relationships. And, what we must understand is that true fulfillment comes from you being whole within yourself; NO one can make you whole. I repeat, NO one can make you whole!

The quote is so true and on point..."if you aren't happy being single, then you will never be happy in a relationship;"  It just will not happen. Being single allows time for self reflection, a building of self awareness and the ability to do things that you may not be able to do when you share time with someone else. In this time you are able to develop your own identity one which others will want to gravitate to and most of all develop an understanding of what you truly want. I've seen many people lose themselves in relationships...you know, people who get into relationships and you never hear from them until things fall a part. Or people who are attached at the hip with their significant other and you never see them alone. Or even people who have completely suppressed their own dreams or desires because it wasn't what the other person thought they should be wanting. This is not healthy and usually ends where one or both parties are no longer self sufficient and lack their own sense of self.

For me, I've never viewed singleness as something negative or something to be depressed about. I have and always strive to surround myself with positive people who I can enjoy life with; so it was never something I felt was a "deficiency". I am big on self-reflection and understanding oneself so I've always tried to understand how I can be better based on what was given back to me from the people in my life. The key thing is, YOUR own personal identity and who you are should be what attracts someone or others to you. If you're happy with yourself and when there is no one else around, then adding someone to what you already possess should be a plus. We should have our own lives in which others or someone would want to be a part of. If you struggle with this it is my hope that you will begin to focus on your own identity and self awareness. That you will get to the root of why you feel that you need someone to complete you. Ultimately, get your OWN life first then share it! I know it's sounds easier said than done, but really it's not. You have to make up in your mind that if you truly want fulfilling relationships, then you will have to be whole within yourself and make the right steps to attaining that. Take the time to know YOU...and watch the things you desire fall into place.