Worth the Wait!

Happy Friday! Stumbled across this video this morning and had to share. I truly appreciate the talents of others and those who have the gift of poetry. Enjoy this video...it's that PEACE! ;-)

Ask a Black Man: Episode 4 - Marriage

I came across this video today during my daily perusing of YouTube content and found it intriguing enough to share. I truly believe that gaining perspective is imperative to fruitful experiences and interactions with people in general, but most importantly when it comes to our male counterparts. I found this video very interesting and believe that it gives some great insight in regards to how men may agree on certain things and even differ based on beliefs/upbringing when it comes to marriage. As always it is my hope that it helps to bring forth insight into an area we as women really are not familiar with. And hopefully for males that watch it to reflect and see where they stand on the topics addressed. Enjoy!

Is it Time to Find a New Leaf?!

Many of us want more out of our lives, yet we hardly do what is required to get it. We want more, but we continue on in the patterns and habits that have only gotten us as far as what we currently have. T.D. Jakes once said in one of his sermons, "If you always do what you've always done, then you will be what you've always been." I found this to be so profound as we seldom think in this way. Asking the question, "how can we want something different in our lives if we continue to do what has only gotten us what we have?" We just end up in the same place...still needing and wanting more out of life because nothing we do has changed. The process is still the same, yet we want different results. We want more and more...we can see it conceptually, yet due to our myopic way of thinking we fall short of attaining it. We fall into becoming one trick ponies, the worm who only eats off of one type of leaf, that person who only reads one type/genre of a book...only to wonder why we reap the same outcomes. One thing that i've learned is this; if we want different result in our lives, then we have to change up the process. Wanting more in life means moving into uncharted territory...moving away from what feels comfortable. It means that what may have worked to get you to a certain point will not work when moving into what is unfamiliar. We have to in a way reinvent ourselves being open to learning new ways and tactics than our own. Being open to a new way of thinking or gaining perspectives from others who have found success in what is new for us. We become utterly myopic when we think that just because we've been doing something one way for years that it means it's what works or what is right. We have to broaden our way of thinking and humble ourselves to know that sometimes what we do or have done just is not working and something has to change. Furthermore, what we have to remember is this; a good teacher only becomes a great one when they always remain the student. It is my hope that someone is sparked by this post and will REALLY be honest with themselves understanding that at some point we all in some form have thought or think this way. If you find your current situation or circumstance to be unsatisfying do something about it. Make some changes and do something different. It's time out for being that person who only does what they have always done....change it up...you never know what new things you'll open yourself up to.

Something to Ponder...

The Movement!

I came across this music video over the weekend and thought that I would share. This is a unique collaboration; enjoy! :-)

Being Open : )

If you haven't heard of this talented Christian rap artist, then consider yourself informed. I was recently introduced to his music after attending a Christian rap concert here in Chicago a couple weeks ago where Flame, Thi'sl and V. Rose performed. I must say that I found it hard initially to get into Christian rap, yet after being exposed to this music i'm hooked. This man is talented! I bought his most recent project called the "6th" and I am feeling it from start to finish. I love music that actually has something to say and his music does just that. Check out the video above; it will definitely give you a new perspective on Christian rap. Because of my willingness to be open I have found a new way to get a message and still bump my rap at the same time! This is our generation; enjoy!

P.S. the other day I was bumping this in my car and the man in the car next to me asked me who I was listening to. I told him, "Flame, he's a christian rap artist!" He went on to say that he was feeling what he heard and was going to check him out. Be open! ;-)

Intimacy Without Vulnerability?

A couple days ago I was watching Oprah's Life Class with Iyanla Vanzant. The topic of the show dealt with fatherless men and how it affects the relationships they have with others and their own children. Now, that topic in itself is a whole different topic and not what I will be touching on today. Yet, there was something that was stated to one of the men that really resonated with me that I had to speak on it. Iyanla was talking to one of the men about his lack of being able to connect with his daughter after being out of her life for so long. What she said was (and i'm paraphrasing of course), "There can be no intimacy where there is no vulnerability." This is very powerful and something that most people lack in understanding. Most people view intimacy on a very surface level and view it simply based on the physical level. Yet, intimacy goes beyond that and really has more to do with getting to a deeper level of knowing someone. Knowing the deep desires, hopes, dreams, concerns, etc of the people in your life. This is something I strive for and work to have within my close relationships. A quote taken from a book i'm currently reading states that, "Intimacy comes from "knowing" the other person at a deep level. If there are barriers to honesty, knowing is ruled out and the false takes over." Connection is loss or not there to begin with when someone fears being vulnerable; when they feel that they cannot be themselves or express their feelings without judgment/ridicule. The ability to be vulnerable comes when there is room and freedom to do so with the people or person in your life. This is something that I work to give the people in my life; the freedom and space to be vulnerable...to be themselves completely without judgment. This ability to give room for others to be vulnerable comes from me being vulnerable myself; taking the time to grow, reflect and to be honest with myself in where I am. I've come to notice that a lot of people feel as though they give this to the people in their life, when in reality they lack the ability to be honest with themselves. I mean how can others be vulnerable with you when your barely honest with yourself? Intimacy starts with us knowing ourselves...sense of self FIRST and this is something that many of us feel we have, but in reality lack. Many of us view ourselves and who we are on a very surface level and through life experiences and/or challenges we have created our own barriers and stop being vulnerable ourselves. We live in falsehood and it takes over and consumes the relationships we have. We then are intimate with the people in our life on a surface level never really being able to connect...never really knowing them on a deep level. A barrier is created and no one is being honest with themselves or each other. This is what I work hard to avoid...to avoid having surface level relationships. In my mission to maturation I work hard at knowing myself on a deep level so that it shows through to the people in my life and they are given the ability feel safe to be themselves and vulnerable. Knowing yourself on a deep level means that you are constantly in a place of self inventory; checking your emotions and tapping into your own desires, hopes, dreams, concerns, etc. The key thing we must all understand is this; for there to be growth in any relationship it is imperative that both parties feel comfortable sharing with each other their deepest feelings, needs, hurts, desires, failures, or whatever else is in their soul. This is true intimacy and again can only exist when there is room given for this to happen; when others feel safe to do so. To have true intimacy we must be vulnerable; it is my hope that this will encourage someone to reflect and examine where they are currently in having true intimacy in their relationships. Can you say that you are providing a safe place for the people in your life to be vulnerable with you?

Something to ponder...

Lady Victory!

I came across this video a week ago and have been meaning to share it; it really touched me. In a mission to maturation it is important that we are constantly in a place of reflecting, forgiveness and healing. Though this was not my fate; there a many women in our lives that have been victims of this type of abuse and it's important to encourage them to face it and forgive those who hurt them. The greatest gift we can give ourselves is forgiveness. It frees us from the bondage of those who caused the hurt and allows us to make a choice. Many of these types of stories go untold and it is my hope that in watching this video it will encourage the women who have experienced this type of hurt to tell their stories and give themselves the gift of forgiving those who hurt them. As I look forward to being a mother one day I take heed and understand that it will be my duty to listen and pay attention to my children. Be concerned about who they are around and work to protect them with all my being. This is very real and something that happens to children everyday. If you know someone who has been a victim of child abuse share this video with them. And if you have been a victim yourself, be encouraged and know that through forgiveness you can take a step in the direction of healing!

Stay on your mission to maturation! : )